Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
