She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Randomize