nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
