Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
