maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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