can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
