D3 body, D1 cock
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
