Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
