i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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