do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Randomize
