Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
