My first STD was from a foam party
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
