so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
The beer is more important than you right now.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
