the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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