what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
