in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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