Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
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