Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Randomize
