yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
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