Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Randomize
