So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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