I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
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