He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
