Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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