just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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