I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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