I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
