giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
