Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
