real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
