Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
