Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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