A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
