So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
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