...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
