Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Randomize
