Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
