So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
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