Well douche your snatch and let's go!
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
