woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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