No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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