You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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