so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
