I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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