; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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