They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
