Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Randomize
