I wish i was in the wii world.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
