Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
