So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
