I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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