Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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