You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
