I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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